Back in December, looking ahead to 2020, I thought I should be figuring out a Lent Project that people could join. I struggled with various ideas, made an opt-in and then I stopped. I did not meet the goal. Looking back, I’m glad I did not spend more time on creating it—God seemed to tell me it was OK not to do it this year….
Then came the corona virus.
Restrictions, new habits, masks, social distancing, stay at home. We should not take things for granted and need to appreciate the small stuff.
I noticed a Calla Lily that was blooming near my front door. I realized I was not giving it my attention or feeling gratitude for that little bit of beauty. I took a photo. I started talking to it as I walked by between the car and the house.
Very honestly, I am enjoying the slowed down pace and time to reflect and do what I feel like doing. I feel less pressure and love driving only a 2-3 miles a week.
But I needed some pressure to give me a push, to show up to my creative practice with more intention. An opportunity to join an art challenge came from one of my painter friends. Even though I seldom paint outside (unless my studio is full, i.e. cramped) I joined the SoCal PAPA challenge —sponsored by a plein air group. Believe me this was not in my wheel house!
The challenge has totally taken me away from the kind of work I have been doing in the last few years, a throw back to more representational paintings. I consider it an excersise, yet they are definitely art pieces…I was holding onto an idea about what kind of artist I thought I should be or the direction I was headed.
I joined because I felt a little at a loss and even though it was not the kind of art I’ve been doing lately, the goals were clear and manageable. I am not even a member of the organization! But I’m doing the challenge because I responded to the invitation from a good friend. I took many pictures of the process because I wasn’t even sure how they would look finished.
No matter what kind of art we do or when we do it, there are lessons to be learned. My brain works while my hands paint what I see. I find I’m working from a different place, one I know, but have not done for a few years.
Even so, I’m learning. It’s all about the doing. Showing up to create, and it’s a season.
There is a time for big, and a time for small;
There is a time for abstraction, and a time for realism;
There is a time for working inspired, and just showing up and doing it anyway;
There is a time for symbolism, and a time for representation;
There is a time for working quickly, and a time for slowing down;
There is a time for looking inward, and a time to look at nature’s beauty;
There is a time for sketching, and a time for details;
There is a time for going bold, and a time to draw in tight;
There is a time for plannning, and a time for going with the flow;
There is a time to explore, and a time to aim for the quality of a finished product;
There is a time to work steadily, and a time to work in spurts;
And a time to feel like a beginner and to feel accomplished.
In all these it is a time to worship and to be refective, to appreciate our talents and our purpose to create—to grasp that we each have an ability to represent truth in our own way.
We need to stretch ourselves, even when we don’t feel like it.
I was at a writing conference years ago and heard a successful writer talk the about the process of creating. Unfortunately, I have no idea who but I will never forget the truth of what he shared. I remember he talked about how people wait for the “muse” to show up before they sit down and create.
The writer shared the suspicion that on the days he felt really inspired to write, the quality of the writing should be better than the days when it was so hard to get motivated. He suspected the writing should be significantly poorer that was produced on the uninspired days.
When he looked back at the whole manuscript, he found that he could not tell any difference in the quality of the wrting. There was no tell-tale indicator that some of the passages were written “inspired” and which were produced just “showing up”.
I think that is pure gold.
Working when we are “just” showing up makes no difference than if we think we need to be inspired to create. It’s all a process and we need to put in the time to let the practice improve what we do.
That has been true for me, even on this challenge! The last painting killed me and took way longer than the others and still I was not satisfied. It took many more hours for me to be able to call it done and move on.
No one else could tell. In fact looking at it now compared with my annoyance at the amount of time it took, it fits fine with the other paintings in the series.
Now I started a new one I thought would go faster. Hah! This new one is going the same way! But somehow I will keep going, showing up, putting in the time. I won’t blame the fact that it is a result of being out of my wheel house.
No, it is a matter of just showing up, to practice seeing and doing the best I can.
